The Mirror

Without dwelling too much in the past, it didn’t end well for me.

Looking back I can see I was far too dependent on alcohol as a coping mechanism — avoiding conflict, avoiding confrontation, escaping responsibility with adventure trips.

By 2020 I had had enough. I was hating myself increasingly. I certainly did not like who I had become or how I was conducting myself.

My guiding philosophy in life was always to make my late parents proud. I was abundantly aware that this was not the case. It was killing me — not literally — from the inside out.

I knew something had to change.

As one does in setting up a bike or solving a problem, I changed one thing at a time. A process of elimination. Reducing outside interferences until it was just me.

No alcohol. No wife. No business.

Just me, standing naked, looking at myself in the mirror.

Somewhere in there was rock bottom. I’m not sure where. But I had turned a corner, taken control of my life, and the only way was up.